The (Cheek) Hangover

I’m a pretty smiley person by nature, but I’ve never known a true cheek hangover until now. Not that I haven’t had some seriously smile-worthy moments in life- my wedding, opening nights- but those were all infused with a myriad of emotions. This one was pretty much just all smiles all the time.

I don’t usually do posts like this, I like to share my opinions and ideas and mostly highlight the lives of others, but this one I just had to document. I had the tremendous good fortune to accompany my amazing father-in-law, Jacques d’Amboise, to the White House and Kennedy Center for the 2013 Kennedy Center Honors this past weekend. Cue self-inflicted pinch times ten.

Knowing that I would be Jacques’ guest to this event nearly a year in advance, I planned carefully, which is very out of character me (you know what they say about plans…). I carefully selected- with the help of my fabulous stylist-to-the-stars pal, Katy Robbins- my two Rent the Runway gowns literally months in advance. There would be two nights of events- the dinner at the State Department and the White House gathering/meeting the President and the First Lady followed by the Honors at Kennedy Center. I was all set with an Alice Temperley gown and a David Meister on the way for a grand total of $125- oh yeah, discount codes were in full effect.

Then came last Friday night. 8pm, tick tock tick tock, No UPS special delivery as expected. After a long wait on hold with the parcel service, I learned that the dresses would arrive promptly Monday morning. Hmmm. I’m royally screwed, I thought. My babysitter is out of town, Christopher is working and I’ll have to haul two toddlers to Tysons Corner and frenzily shop for not one but two expensive-looking but reasonably affordable black tie gowns. What the what?

I prepared to wake early Saturday and make the mad dash to Nordstroms. Enter the Norovirus. Around 1am on Saturday morning, my hubby came down with a severe dose of the stomach virus. If you’ve ever experienced this, you know how intense it is. It hits you like a ton of bricks and you are violently ill for a solid 24 hours. Saturday morning 10am and Christopher was starting to come out of his nausea-daze when I started to feel a bit wonky. By noon, it was clear that I would not be going to the State Department much less Nordstroms. At that point, I can honestly say however, that I didn’t much care. We had two toddlers to take care of as two very sick parents who were doing everything we could to keep them from getting sick. How that works with a crazily contagious virus, I have no idea. If you’ve ever tried taking care of small children while you feel ghastly ill, you can empathize. It was a rough day, maybe the toughest yet in my newbie parenthood. These are the days you really want your mommy.

Then that beacon of the week, Sunday morning dawned and all started to look a bit brighter. I didn’t feel great, but Lord knows I was going to that White House. I made the mad dash to Nordstoms, gave the saleslady my budget and after a heartfelt wince from her, she brought me dozens of dresses all of which only emphasized my post-baby bump that has no business being a bump at this point, it’s more like a lump- let’s call a spade a spade. She finally brought me one last dress- this one revelatory -to my dressing room. It was like the popcorn ceiling opened up and the Angels sang “AHHHHH”. I had to have it, it actually made my lump look kind of great. I dashed up to the register only to find out upon ringing up, that this was indeed well above my fantasy and idealized price range. Oh well, it’s the frigging White House, I mean come on. So, dress bought, baubles on, we are ready to roll.

Off we went. At 3:15 on the dot, Jacques’ appointed driver Carl rolled up into my modest little apartment complex’s parking lot to escort me down the slick ice rink that was masquerading as a sidewalk. I somehow managed not to take a dive, even in my 4 inch heels- and believe me, this momma does not wear 4 inch heels- not since around my 34th birthday anyway. I lost my tolerance for the self-inflicted pain caused by ridiculously high heels, so I had to kind of pat myself on the back for this one.

We arrived at the front gates of the White House and all I could think about was that scene in Dave when Kevin Kline drives up to that very same gate and convinces the guards to let him out. Here I was, at that very gates. What next? We were escorted after multiple security checks up to the White House. Now I’ve never been to the White House, never taken a tour and although I’ve always wanted to, I never got around to writing my Representative about that one. But this was much better, I had an actual invite, I was actually invited by the peeps at the White House- ok as a plus-one, but still.

Entering the White House for a party that it is throwing was a kind of dazzling, surreal moment for this American girl. Another “AHHHH” moment with the angels harking all over the place as I was handed a glass of champagne upon entering. I found myself sashaying down the perfectly decorated hallways in my lump-licious dress, bumping into the likes of Garth Brooks and Sam Waterston all the while with a ridiculously huge smile on my face. Mind you I was completely aware that I was striding down these said hallways with a giant smile on my face, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I don’t want to sound like a naive fresh-off-the-bus farm girl here, I’ve had my share of star-studded evenings and shared the stage with the likes of Hugh Jackman and Tony Bennett (dreamboats- both of them), but this was something entirely different.

Sitting in my little seat with my very own name imprinted on its little white card, I couldn’t believe I was surrounded by less than one hundred people waiting for the President and the First Lady to arrive. They fabulously strode into this little room and almost knocked me over, not literally but quite figuratively. There is a reason why people get elected to office beyond their politics, it’s that old charisma thing. It’s the same reason the Clooneys and the Pitts of the world are our mainstays- star wattage, people. Despite what you may think of them or their politics, the Obamas are stars.

Enter my very un-Presidential comment to the First Lady. Meeting Obama himself was fantastic, he is charming and genuine with a firm handshake and an authenticity that oozes from his sparkly white teeth. He thanked me for coming (uh- thanks for having me!). Meeting Mrs. Obama, I just blurted out, “You are too fabulous!”. She graciously replied, “Thank you” and also thanked me for coming. Seriously, I was kind of mortified and I still can’t believe I said that to her, not the most Presidentially-appropriate behavior to be sure, but honestly, she is- too fabulous. She dazzled in her jade green Marchesa off-the-should gown, she oozed grace and importance and honestly, she’s a modern day Goddess.

Embarrassing moment behind me (I had to have one), we continued to make the rounds and that’s when I found myself standing next the the D-O-double-G. Oh yeah, Snoop. He jokingly asked the Marine Corps band to play “Gin and Juice”- one of my favorite parts of the night. They didn’t comply, too bad- what a miss. I snapped a picture with the hip hop superstah and ta-dizzle-fo-shizzle, we were off to the Kennedy Center.

I arrived at my seat to find my darling hubby all dressed up in his tux complete with bow tie, which I’ve never actually seen him in- he was effortlessly tieless at our wedding. The drumroll began and the the curtain went up. Attending the Kennedy Center Honors is like attending one of the greatest mulit-artist concerts ever. You get opera, you get drama, you get dance, you get music, music, music. In a word, it’s awesome. It’s a proud-to-be-an-American kind of evening. The show airs on December 29th, and is one to watch. The standout of the night for me is the tribute to Billy Joel with a rousing and tear-jerking number by Garth Brooks and a beautiful turn by Rufus Wainwright, not to mention a great performance by Panic at the Disco’s Brendon Urie. Snoop absolutely kills in the Herbie Hancock tribute- don’t miss it.

We capped the night off with a dinner under the giant mod chandeliers in the main hallway of the Kennedy Center surrounded by some of America’s most inspiring artists and Washington’s finest. I had a blast yucking it up with the legendary Eddie Villella all evening and was once again dumbstruck to find myself shooting the sh*t with Billy Joel, who is one of the most down to earth, coolest cats around. After commending him for his career (with lack of anything else to stay, being completely startstruck) he replied, “Hey, I’m just doing what I love”. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it.

Midnight struck and we were jolted back into our real lives remembering that we promised our sitter we would be home by 12:30. We dashed down the marble halls of the Kennedy Center like Cinderella running for her carriage, in this case our minivan, and raced home before the clock struck 12:30. We made it. No pumpkins here and the kiddos were all nestled snug in their beds. What a whirlwind, but how great to be back in our tiny home with our tiny bebes.

A night to remember and my cheeks still hurt.

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